Nostalgia

I've had a fairly large number of slaves and submissives over the years, going back more than 15 years now. I've had them in all sorts of contexts; in person only, online only, and a mix of both. People I've known for decades and people I'd known barely a few hours before playing with them. Full-on, permanent owned slaves to the gentlest of unnegotiated bedroom bondage.

Kelly is  full-time slave who I actually originally met online - in World of Warcraft. I remember I first really got to know about her by sitting on voice chat with her while we were questing in Nagrand, which is possibly the geekiest way to get to know someone I've ever myself been party to. We grew close and learned a lot about each other. She was categorized as 100% disabled - legally blind due to a disease that had attacked her optic nerves and caused issues with her eyes, she had given up her job and spent most of her time taking care of her roommates. She was about five years older than me, and had been involved in BDSM before - as a Domme and Mistress - in more than one relationship. I'll be honest and say I don't know what made her ask to be mine; even in hindsight it surprises me... But for the 18 months or so she was mine, it was very good for me - for us.

I'm not going to go a lot into what we did; I just don't feel like delving publically into those private memories right now. We talked every day, frequently for hours. I offered her structure, she offered me obedience, and we both gave each other an escape.

The strongest memory I have of her is from her last visit to New York - of Kelly kneeling on my bed with her back against the wall, reading a book and waiting for me to finish what I was working on, smiling at the story while I smiled at her from my desk. It was... Peaceful, at a time in my life filled with much bitterness and sadness.

The thing that surprises people most about her and I... We never had a sexual relationship. That wasn't what either of us were looking for. This was before I self-identified as demisexual, so it was probably just as weird to me at the time; I understand at least that much of it much better in hindsight.

I eventually released her because we were drifting apart - our lives were pulling us in different directions; and when last I had news of her, a mutual acquaintance told me she'd been admitted to hospital with a brain tumour and a very short prognosis. I tried to get in touch with her, but I never received a response; I don't know why. At this point I can only assume it's too late to reconnect.

I don't know what brought her to mind the other day, but I've been thinking about her, and I miss her.