I've spent a lot of time over the last few months thinking about kink and various related topics. I can only assume this isn't a particular surprise to anyone reading here, which is probably for the best, but it got me wondering about other peoples' various first experiences and memories with kink. Did I ever mention my first memory? It was a movie I found in my parents' VHS collection a long time ago, called "What the Swedish Butler Saw". My memories of it are pretty vague - it was, after all, 25 years ago at this point - but there was a scene involving a woman being chained to the wall by manacles. Shortly after that, there was a movie on TV (some random 80s teenage angst movie I have very vague memories of) where one of the scenes involved a bet where the loser had to clean the winner's bedroom naked.
So nothing incredibly sketchy or exciting, really; just things that stuck in my head quite some time ago and always makes me smile slightly to think back to. The beginnings of my own kink, at least as I've consciously identified it. So I continued the train of thought and asked a number of people - friends, acquaintances, people on Fetlife, etcetera - for their earliest kinky memory, and I thought it would be worth sharing some of them with you. I think the only one that made me blush was the one ex-girlfriend who said that I was her earliest kinky memory. I'm not sure whether to be proud or not?
I guess my point in doing this is to just drive home the fact... Kink doesn't necessarily com from abuse, or hatred, or fear, or anger. It comes from a lot of places, and can come from those things, but it can also come from the most innocent sources - childhood games and music videos and whatever else. Also, since I never defined "kink" in the question, it's been very interesting to see how people interpreted that when answering! Either way... I hope you enjoy as much as I did.
"A friend in high school.. She liked to talk a lot and I'm good at listening lol we talked about sexual-ness often - her more than me lol"
"The fanfic I read on the internet. Then a boyfriend."
"First time? Hmmm. Maybe having my hands pinned during sex when I was younger? And please don't laugh... Madonna's Erotica album and Sex book."
"TV or books, I'm not sure. Played a "save the princess" game with friends when I was maybe 8? It mostly involved taking turns tying each other up But not very effectively and there was nothing more to it."
"Bondage scenes in comic books shaped my early development. From there, random TV scenes fueled my interest. After that, porn at the newsstands (remember those?) aided and abetted by clerks who didn't care how old I was."
"I tried tying myself up around 8 or so and enjoyed it?"
"Believe it or not and completely on my own thought when I was 7ish I saw a curtain rod chain, When mom and dad were cleaning the house I don't know what the feeling was but I snatched it and then went to my moms jewelry box and "browed" two of her bangles (the kind that click). I put all the pieces together and had my first set of manacles, I've had happy little wrists ever since......ankles....... Neck.......... Well you get the point."
"Saw Siouxsie Sioux on Top Of The Pops. I was 9, and two thoughts went through my head 1) You can't think she's hot, she's a girl and that's wrong and 2) I don't care how much you love that leather and those whips, that's wrong too. I've found myself eventually living a very wrong life..."
"It'd probably be either some of the TV shows and movies that I loved to watch, or experimenting with paper clips to craft the worlds flimsiest handcuffs."
"My first experience even realizing that kink was a thing that existed was when I was just hitting puberty and I was methodically scouring the internet for that "one thing" that was supposed to turn me on, because at the time I believed that must exist (because I didn't have the framework to realize I could honestly be sexually attracted to nothing). As such, my first experiences were strongly negative as much of what I encountered was either deeply sexist in a very violent and regressive way or at least was presenting a very sexist viewpoint as part of a kink I didn't have the sophistication to understand at the time."
"I remember I used to tie up Barbie when I was really young. I think it was with shoe laces."
"I vividly recall my first kinky fantasy ever. I don't know exactly how old I was but it was 4 or younger because we moved when I was 4 and it was before that. It involved being given deliberately unsolvable math problems and punished for getting them wrong. The imaginary people who gave me the math problems were called "the Problem Lady and her Problem Child." I think someone must have called me a problem child while punishing me for doing something bad, and since I'd only heard the word "problem" before in regard to math problems, I was trying to figure out how that made sense. I remember really liking the fantasy though. I wished that the Problem Lady would visit me in real life. I don't recall what the punishments were. They weren't severe, I don't think. The fantasy was more about the Problem Lady as this dominant personality who enjoyed giving people impossible tasks than about the specifics of the punishment."
"Oh gosh... it started maybe around four years old with 'rescue' scenarios, before I had any framework for BDSM and how that would work, and that was the game I'd play out alone, mostly in my head."
"I remember seeing those detective magazines on the rack at the grocery store."
"When I was in kindergarten, I had a friend who came over to my house. My bed was set up so there was about a foot of space between the frame and the wall. I remember putting her in that space and telling her she was a prisoner in my dungeon. At some point, I remember taking her out and spanking her (over her clothes, and not too hard, but all the same)."
"When I was 12 years old, I had a pair of crappy metal handcuffs. I am sure that you all know the type, safety latch, sometime wouldn't even lock. Yeah, those. For whatever reason, I was playing with them during the day, then at night I just thought about wearing them as slept. I don't know why I thought about that, but I did. So that night I cuffed my hands behind my back and curled up sleeping like that until morning when my father woke me up. Either he didn't notice or he didn't say anything, either way, I was hooked. =P"
"When I was 8 years old, I was in a small stall of the bathroom in a Mormon temple in Switzerland masterbating while laying on the floor with my panties tight around my ankles. It's the first time I realized I really liked the feeling of being restrained while masterbating. But, I also found the thought of someone possibly walking in on me quite exciting, especially because we were in a religious temple."
"Mine was tickling when I was a youngin I'd tickle my female cousins and my aunts."
"Mine was a very submissive fantasy, when I was about 5 or 6. I dreamed of a dark and twisted king who would capture me, lock me in his castle, and rape and punish me out of love."
"The corporal punishment scene in Lord of the Flies. I was, maybe 6 years old."
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