I just finished Opening Up, by Tristan Taormino (Goodreads link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1128665.Opening_Up), and I'll admit that - as a first choice for a book to review here - I'm really happy with my choice. The thing is, though, once I finished it I found it hard to figure out how to review it... Mostly because I was an indifferent English student at best, and I just agreed with way too much of what it said. Going through the book, there were only one or two concepts I was not already conscious of and comfortable with; the main difference was her terminology, where she may use a different word or phrase than I did.
Tristan Taormino is an excellent author who writes in an approachable yet intelligent manner, and I was instantly comfortable with how she presented all the information. She found and interviewed a number of people in all forms of poly relationships as source, as well as seeking out all sorts of academic and popular books on the subject. Tristan lays out all the topics in a logical, well-ordered manner, splitting them up by chapter and addressing each concept in order; with relevant quotes and excerpts from her interviewees, each segment is easy to understand and easily relatable.
The biggest concept I'd never really heard of before is the idea of compersion, or taking joy in the joy of a loved one - essentially the antonym of schadenfreude. When it comes to polyamoury, it's a major part of many - if not most - functional relationships. If you aren't happy and comfortable with the idea of people getting joy externally to their immediate relationship with you, it's all too easy to fall into jealousy.
At its heart, Opening Up has everything you need to introduce anyone to all the major and most of the minor ideas involved in polyamoury. If you're new to it as a lifestyle, or simply want to ground some of your thoughts, this is a great book for you; more to the point, though, this is an excellent book to use to introduce other people who aren't involved to your lifestyle. I'd recommend this to anyone who is looking to learn more about it, and its approachable nature makes it perfect for someone trying to figure all of this out.
Compersion is such a good word and concept. The experience can be a nice benefit of being poly, but it isn't a requirement. Conversely, experiencing jealousy doesn't mean you're not poly. (But it does mean you need to understand why you're feeling jealous.)
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