On Doing Things (You Know...Things)

Everyday there come more new examples of people making bad choices based on desires they are told to ignore. Sometimes it's society, or parents, maybe peers -- even ourselves -- and the end result seems the same: 

We want to do The Thing.

We are told not to do The Thing.

We agonize.

We stamp it down.

We forget, maybe.

The Thing comes up over and over.

We want to do The Thing.

We agonize more.

At the least opportune time, we do The Thing.

Everything goes to hell.

Self loathing comes into play.

We still want to do The Thing.

Everything is still hell.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I was raised Catholic, so this is normal. But should it be?

About a year or so ago, I started listening to a podcast focusing on serial killers and other assorted deviants, mostly in the form of interviews with authors of books on the topic. I find these things fascinating because I don't understand the motivation people have to do awful things. (I can hate people, but never enough to go on a rampage or to maim anyone.)

I only listened for a little while because the sound quality was atrocious and the interviewer mostly talked about himself, but in the process of listening,I heard the word "sadist" thrown around frequently.

So they would lay out these situations, and I would find myself thinking that, if there wasn't so much stigma about wanting to do things that most people would consider bad or evil when done non-consensually, a lot of people could be saved jail time if they could get their interests out in more healthy ways.

When you deny yourself something, it stays at the forefront of your mind. If people suggest treating yourself in small ways when attempting to diet, it makes sense that the same idea can be applied to other things with more importance. Want a dungeon? There are people who would clamor to fill it. Are you a fan of bloodplay? There are people who would love to share their blood with you.

You get my point.

I just wish people could be better at accepting themselves. I wish it were more acceptable to be oneself and it were easier to fulfill features in healthy ways. There are people into so-called "bad things," and there are people into having those "bad things" done to them. It's possible to get needs met when you take time and effort and sanity and patience and mix them all together instead of shoving down explosive material until it has no choice but to burst and take out nearby people at the same time.

Be careful, be good to people, but be yourself and don't ignore desires just because not everyone understands them. Or else you'll do something drastic and far worse than initially intended, with far more extreme consequences than would've come from just doing The Thing in the first place.