Bah-humblog

So, I have a confession to make, and I hope none of you hate me too much for it.

Here goes.

Okay.

So.

I hate the holidays.

Phew. Okay. Big weight off my chest. I feel better now.

I mention this because this revelation, plus why I feel the way that I do, are closely linked to the same "it's like no one understands me" undercurrent running through this blog. We have talked about how having non-standard relationships can make holidays problematic, but what about on a more singularly personal level?

I've been inundated with "the perfect gift for the (oddly specific human subtype) in your life" articles on various bits of social media lately. While I understand that stereotypes exist for a reason, and that statistically, people generally fall into standard behaviors and interests that match up with their born genders, being on the outside of that can really hurt when people try to give presents to your gender and not, you know, your actual personality.

"Your pre-tween girl will love washi tape and brightly colored pens!"

Will she? 

I'm being difficult. I know this. Chances are, yes, she will love tiny strips of patterned craft tape and purple pens and beauty supplies and posters of cute boys and even cuter animals. But the assumption can drive home the idea that deviancy is a problem, leaving plenty of non-conformists feeling unwelcome in these situations.

It's a fight I feel like I've been fighting for my entire life. Not all girls day dream about their perfect wedding. Not all girls like Barbie dolls and try on their Mom's high heels. We don't all like purses or want to own "the perfect clutch." So are you more willing to tell me that I'm not actually female or that not falling in line means I'm wrong?

I'm thankful I don't deal with seasonal affective disorder in the winter (I get it in the summer, once again bucking the trend) because being reminded at every turn that I'm apparently not putting my vagina to proper use can really drag a person down.

Please, when you're buying gifts, buy them for the person and not their assumed gender identity stereotype. That's not a sentence I really ever thought I would write, but we live in the future. We don't have to be so old fashioned about this kind of thing anymore.

Buy Sally a kitten doll because she likes cats, not because "all girls love cute things." Buy Bobby a blue shirt if it's his favorite color, not because he's a boy. Take two seconds to pay attention to the people in your life. 

If you did, maybe someone like me would be less inclined to hate the holidays do thoroughly if they didn't feel like they were wasting everyone's money and generosity by not using or appreciating ill-suited gifts year after year.

I guess what I'm saying is you don't need to have a live-in slave to feel weird around family at the holidays. Sometimes you just have to not like dresses and fancy girl things and eventually be really bad at graciously saying "thank you, I love it" to family members who can't afford to buy presents in the first place.

Is it April yet?