Bonus Transcripts: The best insect sex advice this side of Indonesia!

Some of you know, I'm in the process of listening to the Savage Lovecast back episodes. Earlier this week I listened to episode 209, and the last call he played included this gem:

Hi Dan. I'm a science graduate student, and for reasons beyond my control I had to spend my entire day today watching fruit flies try to get it on in little lab chambers. I've been here in the lab for the past 13 hours, watched and scored 156 pairs of fruit flies have - or attempt to have - sex, and listened to 21 Savage Love podcasts. Taking in all that advice you dispensed from episodes 1-21 of the podcast in my fruit-fly-courtship-induced delirium, I started to think of sex advice for fruit flies! Here it is for the benefit of your underserved fruit fly listenership; and who knows, maybe some people might find it helpful also.
Okay.
1) If you make a copulation attempt on a girl without following her around for a while first, your ass is going to get rejected.
2) You can sing to a lady all day, but it's going to get you nowhere unless you have the balls to get in there and do a little tapping and licking.
3) And finally, if you find yourself in a little glass-topped ceramic well with a virgin female, you might as well get it on because you've only got 10 more minutes to live.
Hope that's helpful, and Dan, thanks again for bringing a bunch more sex - be it gay, straight, bi, or dolphin - into this long day I've spent in the lab.