Tuesday Links

So I came across this question on Quora.com, a site similar to Yahoo Questions:

How do sexually submissive men get into successful relationships? Is it otherwise possible for a submissive man to change into a more "normal" person? Because most girls tend to prefer dominant male. (Please not "sexual submission" have nothing to do with being beta or socially inept.)

(original link: https://www.quora.com/Dating-and-Relationships-1/How-do-sexually-submissive-men-get-into-successful-relationships)

Short answer: The same way as everyone else... Find a partner who has the same interests as you (in this case, a dominant man or woman).

Long answer: So my problem here is, this question is framed in the idea that there's something wrong with a submissive relationship in the first place. I understand that they threw quotes around "normal", but it's an unfair implication; not being in the majority (which is itself an arguable statement in this context) doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with what you want... In this case, being a submissive male.

So how do sexually submissive men get into successful relationships? The same way as everyone else. They go to bars, get hooked up by friends, find dates online with Match or OkCupid or Fetlife, they hit on women they meet. The difference is just that you don't want a girl or guy that will sit back and let you take control in your sex life - you want one who takes charge for you. You will have exactly the same problems as everyone else - the majority of dates don't lead to relationships, and the majority of relationships don't last forever.

You'll also have exactly the same need as any other relationship to communicate your wants and needs. The biggest mistake too many people make in relationships is making compromises on their core needs in hopes they'll "get over it" or be able to change the other person. If you start off needing a sexually dominant woman and never *tell* them that, you're begging for failure. In exactly the same way you need to tell them what kinds of movies you like and what kinds of restaurants you want to go to, when the topic comes up you need to tell them what kind of things you're looking to get out of a sexual relationship.