Harriet the Spy has been around for plenty long - according to Wikipedia it was first published in 1964, well before I was born - but I've never read it. I spent more of my time reading action and science fiction and fantasy instead. Still, I ran across the following quote the other day and I liked it very much:

You’re an individual, and that makes people nervous. And it’s gonna keep making people nervous for the rest of your life. Stay true to who you are and accept the cost.

- Harriet the Spy, “Be Yourself”

I certainly can understand the idea of making people nervous; I've spent most of my life doing so. It's not just my kinks, either; after all, I spent most of my life keeping them mostly hidden. I've been an outsider for most of my life. I was a math geek, a nerd, a theatre and music geek; I didn't play sports, I didn't hang out with the popular kids, and I was far more likely to be found playing Magic: The Gathering or with my nose in a book than "hanging out". Once I started understanding my kinks and exploring them - talking to people about them - there were a couple of blunders that *could* have been much worse; I was lucky not to have been outed to my entire school. I have a habit of being quiet and then very blunt; I understand people and read them well, but I make some people uncomfortable because I'm not often willing to lie to them. None of this made me popular, and I paid that cost - the cost of being myself, and spending time on the things and people that were important to me ostracized me for a decade in school.

It's very easy to look at that and say "Well, your problems are so juvenile!" And to some extent, of course they are - they started when I was 10 or less. That doesn't mean they aren't still true, even worse in some cases.

I mentioned this quote to my friend and coworker Ace, and her response was:

You know, it's something I really wish I heard when I was younger. Not that I didn't hear a variety of terms like that just that I didn't "hear" that. Stay true to who you are. I was always told I didn't fit in and I needed to.

I've touched on this before... But being yourself, when society can be so hostile and not hiding your kinks or your interests seems so dangerous, can be scary. But building a good life as someone you aren't isn't actually building a good life - it's building a lie. Keep that in mind.